6 Ways To Ask For Help When All Is Not Okay
We see a lot of pressure on young adults every single day. In the media, online and even in the education departments of our local governments, there is pressure on young people that are just trying to grow and find their way in life. High schools put pressure on teenagers to keep up with their GPA and their extracurriculars. Colleges put pressure on young adults to keep up with their tuition and their education while they’re working to keep living. Employers put pressure on young adults to get the best out of them while paying less than is deserved. Life gets very stressful when you spend a lot of it feeling like you’ve got a boot on your back, keeping your nose to that grindstone without a break.
Often, this leads to situational depression, mental health issues and then turning to vices to find an escape from reality. Life pressure leads to a very slippery slope when it gets too much, but all too often you hear about people not feeling like they are able to ask for help, and it can be tough to understand why. The thing is, we aren’t conditioned to ask for help when struggling. Saying you need a moment to breathe when you need to collect yourself is always viewed as a weakness. If you don’t have the latest and greatest in material items, social media will tell you you’re not keeping up. If you don’t hit the right grades, college and school will tell you-you’re behind, you’re not doing enough, you’re not living up to expectations. Here’s the thing: asking for help is not weak. It’s a different strength to be able to stand up and say that you aren’t keeping up. You do not need to tell people that you feel fine when you don’t. The only way that you’re ever going to feel comfortable and solve your problems is to seek help. You wouldn’t get into a car as a non-driver and ‘try to figure it out’ any more than you would try to walk on a broken leg. When things are getting too much, you need to take a step back and breathe and with these six tips, you can ask for help for a change and feel contented by the fact you didn’t give up.
“I Am Not Coping”
When you tell people you feel fine, they will take you at face value and roll on with their lives. It’s not because they don’t care, it’s because they do not mind readers. If you are not coping, you say it loud and you say it whether you’re proud of it or not. You can check out https://www.hotelcaliforniabellevue.com/ if you have turned to alcohol or drugs to cope with stress, as they can help you to break the cycle of addiction and get sober. It’s okay to not cope sometimes; humans are allowed.
Send A Text
You probably have this already, but that thing where you can’t physically speak without breaking into tears is a common thing. However, it’s so much easier to put feelings down on paper or in a text message than it is to say the words out loud. If you can’t say that you’re not doing well, then perhaps let your thumbs do your talking for you and tell someone you need to talk to them.
Make Lists
When you’re feeling in the weeds, you need to get a pen and paper and sit somewhere nice and airy. Then make a few lists. One should be the pros and cons of asking for help – it can often help to see it on paper why you should be asking someone to support you. Then, make a list of what you could be doing to make your life a little easier. Stress at work? Take a day off and head to a spa. Is relationship not working out? Pros and cons of whether to end it and save yourself the pain now could help you. Lists can give clarity, so get writing.
Positive Affirmations
Sometimes, the person that you ask for help is you. When you feel like you’re drowning, you need to look into the mirror and remind yourself that you are worthy. You need to remind yourself that you are human, whole and real and you don’t deserve to be in pain. Looking at yourself in the mirror while you do this can feel like you’re talking to you again, which you need to do to find peace.
Phone Call
That sheer panic you can feel in your stomach when you have to do something you don’t enjoy can indicate depression. Sometimes, getting on the phone and calling a friend can help to ground you. You can find that you feel better when someone is just there on the line with you, making you feel like you can be safe. Panic generally abates when your heart rate comes back down again, so call someone that makes you feel calm.
Check-In
Asking someone close to you to check in on you once or twice a week, whether this is by phone or a visit, can help you massively. It’s easy to feel forgotten about, but if you’ve asked someone to check on you, you will know that you can expect a call which can make life a lot easier. It’s the same as putting a seatbelt on when you get in the car; it’s there for you and you don’t even notice it, but it’ll always catch you as you’re about to fall.
Many people think asking for help is a bad thing, but it’s never a bad thing to put the brakes on life for a moment so that you can catch up. It’s important to know who you have in your circle to support you when you feel you can’t support yourself because these are the people who care about you the most and want to be there for you. You should let them.